DEAN AND DAWES: An Actress Punked Disaster

Season 2 EP 4: DEAN AND DAWES:   Punked Disaster

Hosted by: Jackie Dawes and Timothy “Dean” Gager

To appear on the podcast, buy an advertisement or give listener feedback to email thetwodeans@gmail.com or deananddawespodcast@gmail.com Join the Facebook Group: Fans or Listeners of Dean and Dawes or Text Us through the app you listen to the podcast from

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Show notes

Guest: Pat Willson, Actress, Story Teller

Hosted by: Jackie Dawes and Timothy Gager

2) Pat Wilson as Sara in famous Seinfeld Episode  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyT3jlANQ_Q

3) Dean’s Role Play Update. Send us role play scenarios (use our emails or TEXT/RECORD a VOICEMAIL)

4) APP TIME: Bobble Head App “Bobble”

5) NOT KNOWN GOODNIGHT SONG https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp_djIuQ2Cw

6) MICKEY MOUSE CLUB https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNK5KzI48mM&list=RDQNK5KzI48mM&start_radio=1

Jackie Dawes is a Teacher, writer, ADHD survivor, Imposter …somewhere Ms. Kursman is laughing hysterically.

Timothy “Dean” Gager has published 20 books of fiction and poetry, which includes his latest novel, The Shadows of the Seen, forthcoming with Pierian Springs Press in 2025. He hosted the successful Dire Literary Series in Cambridge, MA from 2001 to 2018, and started a weekly virtual series in 2020. He has had over 1000 works of fiction and poetry published, 18 nominations for the Pushcart Prize. His work also has been nominated twice for a Massachusetts Book Award, The Best of the Web, The Best Small Fictions Anthology and has been read on National Public Radio. 

 The 2 Deans produced by Timothy Gager

Theme song and App Time Jingle written and performed by Delaware’s Aspartame Daddies

If you want MERCH. Dean and Dawes Sweatshirts ($45), and t-shirts ($30)

 The 2 Deans produced by The Oddball Foundation

Theme song and App Time Jingle written and performed by Delaware’s Aspartame Daddies

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey everyone, this is Brian O'Neill here in beautiful Florida Keys, and you're listening to the two Deans, Dating, Dread, and Disasters. What I really want to ask you all is when's the last time you had a date in this town?

SPEAKER_00 0:11

The calling podcast are the opinions and satire of Dean.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

And Dean. And maybe some truth.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

And in no way represents the opinions. And lack of satire of anyone else but ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

But the people might be true. The story you're about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Oh, it's called fountain off the wall. We are ready to roll, aren't we?

SPEAKER_03 1:02

We are ready to roll.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Welcome to another episode of season two. I won't count it though.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Thank you, Dean. Why aren't we going to count it again?

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Because we always lose track of the episode of the game.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

And when people he's people saying things to us, that's terrible.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

So now we need to say season two.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Season happy season two episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

This is a season two episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Woohoo! We don't know which one. It's probably May.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

And we've got a guest a little bit later.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

We have an amazing guest today, and she is going to tell us a very funny story, even though she's making it a surprise. So we don't really know.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

It's a surprise. We don't know if it's funny or not, but we think she's funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

She's telling me it's not funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

If the comedy show's over here, you gotta make it funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

Gotta make it funny. Well, she's been on Seinfeld. She's amazing. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

She's been on Seinfeld?

SPEAKER_03 1:52

Yeah, she was on a very, very famous episode. Well, I guess all the episodes are famous, huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

She was on the one with the letters with uh George Costanza's fiance's dad. The letters in the cabin. Do you know that one?

SPEAKER_02 2:07

That's a great episode.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Oh my god, it's hilarious. Anyhow, um, but she's amazing and she directs plays and she's a storyteller, and now she's looking at me like, shut up, Jackie. So I'm just gonna be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

So uh we're just kind of Jackie, we just kind of catch them on the way down. Is that what we're saying here?

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Excuse me, she is on her way up. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 2:25

She is here on Dean and Dawes.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

That's but that means she's doing really well. She's here on Dean and Dawes. Well, because she's my friend and she said yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

We're getting more and more downloads every single week.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

I know, that's exciting. Any minute now, we're gonna get some big sponsors.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Huge sponsors. I haven't I haven't done fishing for sponsors in a while. People can sponsor this show. You get a you get like a minute and a half little ad before the show. Anyone can do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Anyone can do it. Oh, I'm gonna buy my own ad for the show. Okay, hey, question What did you do this weekend? Didn't you have like a special weekend we're supposed to be talking about right now?

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Oh, I need to talk about this.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

You gotta talk about this. I forgot about come on, let's hear. This is about the role play.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Because last week I didn't want to say exactly what roleplay we were doing, because anytime, anytime you mentioned what roleplay you're going to do, it becomes like a bad porno thing. Right. So we don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Right. So now, but now you're gonna give us the details, correct?

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Alright, so here is the role play since it actually happened.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

So I'm an I'm a yoga instructor and she was a yoga student, and she's going for a private lesson in my house. Doesn't sound like a porno at all, does it?

SPEAKER_03 3:34

A little bit, a little bit, a little bit like a porno, actually.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

So so so that's the setup, and like we answer I answered the door in character, and I said, Oh, you know what? Thank you for it's great that you came for a private lesson. I noticed you in the class. Oh, I'm sorry I don't have an actual yoga studio here, but I've got a yoga mat here on the rug, and I had I had candles lit. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

Were you wearing like a yoga outfit? What what did you have on?

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Um I don't own a yoga outfit, but I had like like workout clothes, like shorts, workout shorts.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

Okay, okay. But were you trying to be like a yoga guru, like gurus?

SPEAKER_02 4:12

And we have I had like I had very I had meditative oils.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Yes, oh oh that's I've never been to a yoga class where they have meditative oils, but alright. So and then I had essential oils for space.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

And then I had the yoga I had the meditative you know yoga music in the background, you know the spa music, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, the the song never ends, it's kind of like it's like God, what track we on? Oh, track one.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

Oh, yeah, it works well. So, okay, so was it hot? What happened? Did it work? What was going on?

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Initially it was really hot, the anticipation was really hot. Okay, so you guys acted like you just met for the first time, and we did, and the you know, the clothing was good, and all of that. And then um then I realized that when I'm fooling around with somebody, or or slightly more than fooling around with them, um, I get distracted by music, and the music that was going through in the background like ruined the whole thing. It was hot, but I couldn't like I I sucked, I was terrible because I I couldn't focus on my partner because the yoga music was just in my head. It was it was horrible.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

So you could not go through with the role play because of the spa music?

SPEAKER_02 5:31

And then I couldn't, I wasn't even distracting music.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

That's mellow you out music.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

And so I of course I didn't be like, I gotta turn this music off because I didn't want to break character.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

So because you didn't want to break character, you're kind of honorable. It didn't get hot. So what did you do it?

SPEAKER_02 5:48

So I was bad. Uh I I was bad at it, and uh I was bad in bed, but I didn't break character, so I get points for that, perhaps?

SPEAKER_03 5:57

Uh I think she'd rather you break character and have better sex than stay in character and not be able to function? Am I right? Yeah, weren't able to function. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

But later on in the weekend when it was just regular.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

When you went back to your regular self, you guys were able to handle it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

So maybe maybe the role play was just not the right scenario for you.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Also, because of the anticipation, I felt it was a lot of pressure to have it perfect, or a lot of pressure for it to be amazing.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

You had to perform.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Yeah, it was performance anxiety happened.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

You know what? Those yoga gurus are probably not even good at sex, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Well, feminine think of the yoga students said, Oh, it's okay, it's okay, yogi. It happens to it happens all the time.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Oh, I'm sorry that your role play didn't turn out as well. Maybe we'll come up with maybe some of our little deans can send you some better scenarios that would maybe make you feel more hot.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Okay, you know what? If if they email us at our email addresses, which are the two deans at gmail.com or Deananddaw'spodcast.com at gmail.com. Send us scenarios and I'll try to do them and I'll tell you how they worked out.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Okay, I can't wait to see what that sounds like.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

You can also text them to us, and I figured out the voicemail option too.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Oh, how do people do the voicemail? What's that go? How does that when they're like so when they're listening to it on Spotify or the other or Apple or whatever? So what do they do?

SPEAKER_02 7:33

There's a button that says contact us, and then another box appears that says voice recording or or like text.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Oh, okay. So they get to choose and they can leave. Oh, you might get some inappropriate voicemails about scenarios. I don't know if you I know. I don't know if you want to be telling people that. That's could be Yeah, it might be weird. It might be weird. Uh and maybe text the scenarios, and then the voicemail can be saying, Hey, we loved your show.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Or people can call us and go like the weird animal sounds.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

No. No. That's also not good. Oh my goodness. All right. Well, I'm sorry about the role play. What else do we got this week? Do we have listener feedback?

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Well, actually, we have aspertane yes, yes and yes. So the aspartame daddies had their gig.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Oh, our our theme show guys.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

Yeah, and they gave us a shout-out. They gave the show a shout-out.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Woo woo! I remember uh you saying wait, they said you were a poet. You are a poet.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

I'm a poet. I'm a poet and a podcaster.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

You're a poet, a podcaster, and a writer, and a musician.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Yeah, I do so many things.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

You do a lot of stuff. You got a lot of hats.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

I'm not a yoga instructor, though.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Apparently, no, you are not.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

I'm not. I take my job very seriously. I can't get out of character.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Can't, can't, can't. Even if it destroys the sex, you're gonna stay in character. That's a dedicated actor.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

But he basically, Spike from the Aspirtine Daddy said, um, what he said was uh, hang on, I'm gonna have to sneeze.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Bless you!

SPEAKER_02 9:11

God, I'm gonna have to edit that out. I hate that. No, I'll just leave it in. Everyone sneezes.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

Leave it in, leave it in.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

Happens to all of us.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

It does, happens all the time.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

So he uh said Tim's going to kill, he sent me the clip, and it said, Tim's going to kill me if I don't plug the show. And uh so uh that's what so that was oh that's what he did.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

So, and speaking of which, it's ready for app time, and the app time jingle is performed by the aspartame daddies.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Thanks, aspartame dad.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

It's app time.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

I like that, right?

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Little extra measures, great. Hi, Chokey. What's the story?

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Our guest uh for Pat can develop this app too. This is if you're poor and you're and your money's running low and and your health insurance isn't paying for your health course, you can develop these apps, and we're giving you the ideas. These are apps.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

I give you the ideas, you develop them. It's for free. We're offering this.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

And they're they're not as ridiculous. Well, they're a little more ridiculous than the real apps, because I saw on uh uh an advice column in the Boston Globe there is a new app for music lovers. It's it's like what vinyl do you listen to? Which is something I think I came, I made fun of like in season one.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

You made fun of people who love vinyl?

SPEAKER_02 10:36

No, like a music app, like based on music. But the thing is, they someone developed it, and it maybe they got the idea from us.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

It's possible, but wouldn't they have given us a shout-out?

unknown 10:47

I think.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

No, because then it's copyright violation. But we gave permission.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Whatever. What's the app for this week?

SPEAKER_02 10:56

It's the bobblehead app.

SPEAKER_03 10:57

The bobblehead app. How does the bobblehead app?

SPEAKER_02 11:01

First of all, baseball teams that are drawing like no attendance, they'll have a bobblehead night and the place is packed. So people love bobbleheads, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Bobbleheads are big. So you're saying bobbleheads are big. I've seen them in video games. They're big, bobbleheads are big. That's a that's a good bobblehead. That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Bobbleheads are great.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Okay. So what do people do? I don't understand how the app works, though.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

All right, so you have your regular dating profile and no picture, but regular dating profile.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

So all my interests, things I like, how many kids I have, if I smoke, if I drink, blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Do you like to laugh?

SPEAKER_03 11:36

Do you like to laugh? What kind of music do you listen to? What do you like to do on a date? But no picture.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

No picture. So if you're interested in somebody, the mode of communication, and there's also no winks, there's no thumbs up, there's no pokes, there's no messages.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

No communication at all, and no picture.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Yeah. So and the site is free, and the way the site makes money is we make bobbleheads of all the clients.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

So we give our picture to this to the site, they make a bobblehead of us.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Yes, and they pay like they you can buy like a hundred, which is like a hundred messages or two hundred, and the what you can't you mail the bobbleheads to the person, and if they like your bobblehead, there's like a way to message.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

So we cannot have their picture, but we can have the address to mail their bobblehead. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Because I think plastic bobbleheads are safe, right?

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Right, and giving out your address is always smart. Maybe P.O. boxes? Okay, so you're gonna send the bobblehead to the person, and if the person thinks the bobblehead is cute, then you go on the date?

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Yes. Or maybe it'll be like uh an Amazon pickup site, like at Whole Foods Market that all the bottle heads are.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

I think that sounds a lot safer. I I like that idea a lot better. Uh neutral space to send the bobblehead to. And if you like the bobblehead, if you think the bobblehead's cute, you'll go on a date with this person.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

You get to contact them in normal ways. We can't guarantee dates. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Well Okay. Heaven forbid, no, we can't guarantee a date.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

And I already got a great name for the app. You're right.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

It is? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Bobble.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

That's not bad. That's uh you know, this is very intriguing. It's interesting. I I'm gonna give this one it's an interesting thing, and I I I don't have the money to start such a thing, but somebody might, I think they might do it.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

You might not need money. People are just will send you a big thing.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

You gotta have the ability to make the bobbleheads for the people.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

And have a website, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Oh, the website we can do. But yeah, the bobbleheads, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Why don't we ask Can someone send you for defamation if your bobblehead comes out really bad?

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Yeah, like we should be able to send it back and go, no, this bobblehead sucks. I want a different one. Like, I want it to look better.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

People can lie about their bobbleheads age.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

We can ask Pat what Pat thinks of the bobblehead idea.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Let's bring Pat on.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Come on, Pat, why don't you join us?

SPEAKER_02 14:04

How are you, Pat?

SPEAKER_03 14:06

She says, I'm coming. I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

So thumbs up or thumbs down for the bobblehead app.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Well, it's too close to Babbel. Oh, is that a language app. The language app.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Babbel. Babbel is it teaches you different languages, right? You can join that for foreign language. Bobble is too close to sound.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

It's too close to bumble, too.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Bumble will be mad. We'll have to come up with something else. But it it it is a good idea, and it's interesting. We'll see. We'll see.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Pat, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Hi, Pat.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Thanks for joining us. This is fun. It is. That is fun. I'm so glad that you've shown up. Are you you're gonna tell us a story about a date that you had?

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Look, she hasn't even come on yet, and we're fun. So look, let's that's that's listener feedback.

SPEAKER_03 14:59

Thanks for the listener feedback, Pat. We're gonna take it. We're gonna take it, Pat. Um what is your story? Is from when you were younger, correct?

SPEAKER_01 15:10

God, I hope so. Yeah, I was 14.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Oh my gosh. Dating at 14?

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Did your parents my very first date?

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Oh, that is very sweet. I remember it was like Mallory's first date in Family Ties.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Oh, what was it?

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Everyone got involved. The whole family got involved. Did the whole family get involved, Pat?

SPEAKER_03 15:33

No. Oh did did your family know you were going on a date? My mom. My mom knew.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

My dad went overseas.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Oh, okay. Alright, so tell us about your date. Tell us how what's the disaster?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Well, we had just come back from Turkey, where my father had been transferred. And we here we are in South Carolina. And I was under the impression everybody was retarded because they spoke so slow. My mother said, Well, wait a while. Pretty soon, they're gonna be just fine.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

We have to say developmentally delayed though, Pat.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

No, we don't. They became just fine because I began talking like them.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Oh, you got a little twang in your voice?

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Yeah, yeah. Well, I still have some of it.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

You do.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

But anyway, I had just been enrolled in the school and I was very shy. Because I'm the new girl on campus. I mean, you know. Absolutely. People don't know whether you're going to be in the in-crowd or the out crowd.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

I think it's harder for girls at that age than for boys.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Yeah, definitely. But there was this little boy, his name was Leo. And I had learned to, while I lived in Turkey, I thought the boys there looked really good. They were olive-skinned, black haired, like me, like me. Handsome. Yeah, yeah, except more up here. Anyway, this little boy Leo, I would, you know, look at him every now and then, but he never seemed to take any notice of me.

unknown 17:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

And it was lunchtime. I was sitting at my table all alone because, you know, I'm the new person. And he came walking over. And I thought, ooh. And he said, You want to go on a date?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Yeah. And he said, well, my friends are having a Halloween party at this rec room in this building in the state park.

SPEAKER_03 17:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

He said, so we go, you know, dressed up in costume. So I said, Oh, okay, okay. And since we were both too young to drive, his mama was going to drive him over to my house, and my mama was going to drive us to the party.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

So I spent the entire week coming up with a costume. I decided to be a beatnik because that was cool. I want to rewind a little.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

I want to rewind a little bit. Yeah. So was the rec room was it like organized? There's a staff person let you in, or is it just something that the kids knew about and they were just gonna take it?

SPEAKER_01 18:32

It was for rent. You could rent it for parties, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

So somebody was still a Halloween party.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Yeah, and it was still daylight when we got there.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Oh, okay. And you were a beatnik. Did you have a beret?

SPEAKER_01 18:47

I had a black beret, a red scarf around my neck, a black mini skirt with black stockings, and a ponytail out the side of my head. Oh good luck. And a lot of black makeup on my eyes and white lipstick.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

No, I've not heard of the white lipstick, but I got you.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah. I I thought I looked really cool.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

I don't think my dad would have approved, but he was thinking he was far away, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He was still overseas. And my mother married him when she was 15, so she was okay for being flirty.

unknown 19:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

So your mom dated at 14 as well.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

She sure did. Well, 14's your freshman year of high school, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So And this was a brand new high school, so nobody knew anybody, so I don't understand why I was an outsider.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

You didn't have the accent down yet.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Yeah. So um he came to the door in a cowboy outfit. Oh boy, did he look hot. He even had the chaps, you know. Yes. I thought, hmm, this could be really nice. So we got in my mom's Volkswagen.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Leonardo DiCaprio.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Yeah, right. We got in my mom's Volkswagen, and she drove us there the whole time. She's looking in the rear view mirror at us, you know. And yet he's sitting over next to that window, and I'm sitting over next to that window because yeah, we just spent.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Right, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

We get there and we get out of the car, and she said, Well, I'm just gonna stay till you get inside. Okay.

unknown 20:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

So we go to the door and we knock on it, and no one comes. We try to open it. It's locked. We walked around to the side and looked in all the windows. Nobody's in there. So we go back and we sit in mom's car and we wait for half an hour, thinking we got the time wrong, before we finally realized there was no party. His friends had set this whole thing up to humiliate him. Oh, that's so mean.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

That's so meaning dates.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

So my mom drove us back to our house and waited for his mom to pick him up. And oh my god, what the atmosphere was so heavy.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

You didn't try to like save the date or do anything fun?

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Like what? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

Go get us soda at the soda fountain or something.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

My mom said, You want a Pepsi?

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Yes, exactly. Your mom was right.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

Yeah, so she gave us a Pepsi. She tried to, she always flirted with whoever I went out with my whole life. So she, you know, was trying to flirt with him.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Oh but wait, wait, mommy's not fifteen yet.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

So but he was having nothing of it. He was just he was just He was crushed.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

You know what? He should have had some swagger because even though they pumped him, he got a date.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

And she was dressed really hot and cute.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

So I know. And my mom took pictures and where's the picture? Do you have one? I want to see it. No, not long gone. So his mom came. My mom called his mom. She came, got him, she took him home, and then she made him call me and apologize. But since we had no history together, I mean, he walked up to me in the lunchroom and asked me on this date. We had nothing to discuss.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

He was sorry that his friends were so awful to him, so you he was so awful to you.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

I said, Well, uh, you know, um, I'll see you at school, okay? Oh, that phone call lasted about five minutes. Oh, yeah. And then he didn't come back to school for a week. Oh shit. And when he did, he wouldn't even look at me. You, you didn't do anything wrong. I know, I know, but but I felt like I did.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Do you have any idea how Leo turned out? Because usually I'm thinking maybe drug addict.

unknown 23:16

No.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

I or maybe uh movie director. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Did you did you ever um did you ever talk to him throughout the rest of the high school years? No.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

No, he wouldn't look at me for four years?

SPEAKER_03 23:30

He wouldn't even look at you.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Everyone feels bad.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

Do you think he thought you might have had something to do with it?

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I don't think so because he saw that I was sitting in a lunch table all by myself. I had no friends to help do this.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

Well, right, you're new. Oh. I'm sorry. Did you have another good date that year?

SPEAKER_01 23:50

No, I hadn't, you know, I was 14. I didn't have another date. Oh. But I tell you something weird. Okay. I went to get a prescription for glasses, and the eye doctor told the nurse what, you know, um, I don't know, degree of glass to get. Right. Right. She wrote it down instead of five, she put 50. So I went and got the glasses, and the glass on this side was so thick I could see nothing. And and and because I could see nothing, pretty soon my eye turned out.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Trying desperately. So I spent the rest of the year with these glasses in my eye, which was magnified, sticking out. Who decide? I called the doctor's office, that didn't, I mean the eye doctor, and I said, These things, they're wrong. Now you just have to get used to them. I know it's hard to start with. At the end of the year, I was to go back in for a checkup. And of course, you know, they cover one eye and say, read the chart. Well, he covered the eye and I said, I can't see it. He said, Well, get as close as you can. I went up and put my glass on the chart and said, I can't see it.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Did he figure out what happened?

SPEAKER_01 25:24

I mean, I did. Then he did.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

And now you've got one eye going in the wrong direction, you say?

SPEAKER_01 25:31

So they had to put get these new lenses that would force the eye back where it's supposed to go.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

But while it was over there, I was feeling so horrible this first day. These eyeglasses. I was the only girl in the class. Um, everybody else, uh well, obviously, if I'm the only girl, all the rest are men, boys. But Anna was no good. It was a math class. I was no good at it. So they had to pick somebody to out of every homeroom, there had to be a representative, a woman, a girl to represent like the ninth grade beauty person. So they picked me. Of course, I'm the only girl in the class. So I go up in front of the auditorium with this eye sticking out, magnified, right? And I have my coat on because uh I want to disappear. So I have this full length coat on, and everybody that walked in front from every homeroom, people would do this. I walked in front, and it was like, oh no. Oh no, crickets? Did they give you crickets? So that's when I walked home and didn't come back for a week.

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Oh no. What a terrible freshman year!

SPEAKER_02 27:09

That was a freshman year disaster with an optometrist. It's a whole freshman year year. What a freshman disaster, the optometrist disaster, a party disaster, a freshman year disaster.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

Absolutely. No good.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Thank you for thank you for joining us. You have some great stories.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

I know. I love Pat's stories. All right. Well, good luck, you guys.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

All right, enjoyed having you.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

Thank you so much, Pat. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye bye. That's an awful story. Yeah, but it was a disaster.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

Yeah, it was it definitely was a disaster. And you know the funny thing is, yeah, like it could have like that date could have been like a Seinfeld episode.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

You know that whole year sounds like a Seinfeld episode. Like when they go back in time and they talk about George and talk about Jerry from when they were little. I I see that they could do that for Elaine. Elaine could have had that year.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

So you know what we need to talk about next week, right?

SPEAKER_03 28:09

Uh-oh. When is it?

SPEAKER_02 28:10

We didn't we forgot to talk about your Facebook dating app that you didn't join, but you're getting messages. So we'll talk about that.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

Oh yeah, that mean boy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

We'll talk about that next week because we got some strategies for you. But we what we can talk about this week is um I heard from Dean.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Okay, that's Dean.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

She's ready to do a show with us, and she, after months and months and months, she joined a dating app just to get bad dates to appear on the show.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

That is so dedicated. Thank you, Dean. I can't wait to see you.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

And also, she would she joined because there's this one guy that she said is the most ridiculous guy that all has all these issues. He's basically undateable. He went to a dating app and he got like four dates right away.

SPEAKER_03 28:58

So she's like, if he if the undateable guy can do it, she can do it. Good job, Dean. That'll be exciting.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

So that's what we get. And I can't wait to talk to you about the Facebook to get a gill, uh, get a Gil update.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Gil isn't the one though that was the mean guy. This Andy person told me best of I don't even know these people. I'm not even on the site. I'm not on the site.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

We'll do it next week. It's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Alright, that'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

I guess it's time to Now it's time to say goodnight. What is it? See you real soon. Good night. I don't know that one.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

Let's do M I C see you real soon.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

See you season two.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Hey, E. Why?

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Why? Because we like you. We like you. We like because we like to laugh.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

We gotta give this one up. We gotta get this.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

Good night, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Woo! Good night.